are we renting our marriage or are we owning it?!

 Over the weekend I was reminded how beautiful a marriage can be and at the same time how hard it can be as well.
Are we renting our marriage or owning it?
Marriage is like owning a property or for some it’s like renting.
When we rent a property we don’t take that great care of it as if it were our own. When we rent and if something is terribly wrong with the property, what do we do? We would probably leave it and go find another. BUT, when we own our property and something goes terribly wrong, we don’t leave it and go looking for another, we stay and we do whatever it takes to fix those problems. Marriage is so similar. We should always own our marriage. We made a vow, a commitment to stay through the good times and the bad. If something goes wrong we work at it till its fixed no matter how long the process of fixing it will take, we stick with it because we own it, we are committed to it. 
 It seem like now a days we are renting our marriages and when something goes wrong we leave it and go rent somewhere else. There will always be problems whether its in this property or the next. No one is perfect. We are all unique in our own way. No two people think the same way, and that’s beautiful! Marriage is a beautiful thing, it teaches us to work together, it teaches us who we really are or who we want to be and not be. Marriage is between two people who love each other no matter how imperfect one or the other is. Marriage is two people committed to helping each other out. It’s not all just about you/me or him, its about both of us as one. 

In the end when the property is all fixed up and finished, we will love it and appriciate it all the more!

Let us change this generation and stop being renters of our marriages, lets own them!! There is power in marriages, lets keep them together!
{this of course doesn’t apply for those who are being abused physically or mentally or any other unhealthy situation}

What Women Want

A few days ago I posted on The Four Major Needs of a Man so, today I will share my notes on what I learned about what women want! my notes on what women want are less then the one for the man, of course 😉

Agian (like in the post of Mans needs), 

there are 3 major problems in marriage

1. You cant change the unchangeable
-Your spouse is the opposite of you and that is normal, you are supposed to be different
-Some needs cannot be met by another person only by God
2. When you reject your spouse needs, you are rejecting her
-Meeting needs closes doors to other temptations
-Accept your spouses needs as being valid.
-Denying her needs being met will result in an unhealthy marriage.
3. Selfishness
– Marriage is designed to die to self
-Rejecting her needs is selfish
-You are a good wife/husband till he/she says you are.
-Jesus came to serve not to be served.
-Be servants towards each other.
What Women Want
1. Security
~Be concerned, come to her world -what doesn’t bother a man bothers a women
~She needs your strength and understanding
~Be there to help
~Husbands love your wives as God loved the church
~Be a faithful provider
~Study her- want her heart
2. Soft non-sexual affection = the more sexual women become
~Romance- meeting an unspoken need
~You value her
~You care
~Emotional connection = Security
~Hold her hand, wrap your arms around her
3. Open & Honest Communication
~Emotional information  (It is not that she is nosey, its that she cares)
~Communicate is not just words its also feelings & emotions
~Talk with her whether you feel like it or not
~Be verbal
~Communication is oxygen to her
~Opening up = healing and re-wiring
women can fix men (their emotions or what is holding them back) if they let them
4. Leadership
(Doesn’t mean dominance)
~Women want their husbands to help…
*discipline their children
*Romance – intimate
*Finances- Budget together
*Spiritual- Pray, go to church
The definition of a HUSBAND  = a grower
husbands you can nurish (protect), feed,  mature your wife – physically, emotionally and spiritually.

well men, there you have it. now, go and put these 4 needs into practice!!

The Four Major Needs of a Man

 This past Saturday Ray and  I went to a marriage couples get together from our church and it was so much fun! We got to spend time with other couples and learn about husband and wife’s needs! I want to share what I learned about the four major needs of a man! These are my notes I took, and since my blog is where I document everything, I surly want to look back on this from time to time 😉 {Note: this is what I believe, and God forbid, if you are in a abusive marriage, these do not apply}

there are 3 major problems in marriage
1. You cant change the unchangeable
-Your spouse is the opposite of you and that is normal, you are supposed to be different
-Some needs cannot be met by another person only by God
2. When you reject your spouse needs, you are rejecting him
-Meeting needs closes doors to other temptations
-Accept your spouses needs as being valid.
-Denying his needs being met will result in an unhealthy marriage.
3. Selfishness
 – Marriage is designed to die to self
-Rejecting his needs is selfish
-You are a good wife/husband till he/she says you are.
-Jesus came to serve not to be served.
-Be servants towards each other.

The Four Major needs of a man

– Praise him
-Focus on his strength not his weaknesses
-Honor is like his oxygen
-How would you treat Jesus?
-Honor your husband to where you want him to be and he will rise to that level! Believe.
– Dis-honor him and he will stay down

note: anyone can honor the perfect man.

2. SEX
-Its a force in a man
-Commit to meeting this need
-Be more sexual then you feel
-Men are visual

3. Fun & Friendship
– Is the basis of a good marriage
-Be his friend before being a mother
-Doing things with him that he enjoys makes him feel like you are still interested in him {you still like him}

4. Home Supporter
-Wife/mommy duties
-Stress free home {clean}
-Making your house a home

Have Fun Together!

The best marriage in the world is two servants in love
For any men out there who read my blog… I will be posting what women want/need very soon, so stay tuned 😉

A Surprise in the Fridge!

  Saturday morning I woke up to Ray and the girls playing in our bed. Madison woke up like 4 times that night, so I did not want to wake up and get out of bed, but with Ray playing with the girls in our bed it was not helping, so I got up, went to the bathroom to put my contacts on, while putting them on Ray says, “Can you make some eggs and sausage?” I did not respond {honestly, that was not the first thing I wanted to hear in the morning, maybe, a “good morning, my love” would have been way better}, I just grabbed Madi and headed to the kitchen. Ray and I began to talk about random things as I was getting the pan on the stove to begin making some eggs and sausage. As I was about to open the fridge Raychel blocks me and starts hanging up her drawing with the magnets we have to stick her drawing on the fridge. So, I just wait for her to finish and I look over at Ray and he is just standing there looking at me {which was a little strange, because normally he is in his office making some calls or talking to a client while I make breakfast}. Finally, Raychel finishes hanging her drawing and I open the fridge. To my surprise this is what I seen…

It was so beautiful to read these words he wrote. You know, sometimes we get caught up with work and the every day routine that we forget to tell each other how thankful we are to have one another, and how much we appreciate the things we do for each other. Ray is not a guy who expresses his feeling very often so when he does, I am on cloud 9! I love hearing these words come from the man I love, the man I want to spend the rest of my life loving!
Thanks, my love!!
It means so much to me when you give me cards/notes like this!!

{Date Night & My First Time}

On Saturday the hubs and I had a date day/night! I dropped the girls off at my moms at noon, and then headed back home to start our date with the hubs. We went to walnut creek, then we headed to Concord and had some late lunch at Johnny Rockets. This was my first time there, I have never had their burgers and fries… it was pretty good. Ray and I shared a yummy strawberry banana milk shake… yummy!

After a good lunch we headed off to the City. It was so nice to have QT with the hubs! I love having date day/nights with him! We went to the mall and just enjoyed walking around without the little ones pulling us in different directions, and just having the attention towards each other and not our little princesses.

Once five thirty rolled around we headed to Oakland to go watch the Warriors VS Mavericks game. This was my first time at a professional basketball game! Last year was my first time tailgating at a Raider game, and this year my first b-ball game! Basketball is not really my fav, I definitely like football so much better. anyhow, The game was so much fun though… specially being there with my man! I think I enjoyed the in between shows more then the actual game lol! I didn’t get into the game that much until the 3rd quarter, then I started to get into it a little more. In between the game they have all these little shows or they hand out free stuff. At one time they were handing out pizza’s and the lady that was handing them out was almost by mine and Ray’s section. I was telling Ray that if she would have been closer I would have stood up and danced while rubbing my belly so I can win that pizza! lol! A pregnant women can always eat… specially pizza!

Ray and I had such a wonderful time together, that for sure we need to do more of these dates often!

{Elizabeth and Hugo’s Engagement Pictures!}

These pictures were taking by MEEEE!! I felt so honored for them to ask me to take their engagement pictures!! I am so not a professional photographer nor do I know how to use all the different set ups my camera has, but I do LOVE taking pictures of everything/anything! Thanks again Hugo and Elizabeth for letting me be the one to take your pictures!! I can not wait for the big day!!! Love you both!

Note: these pictures have not been edited (yet) in -anyway -shape- or form!

Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be unitedto his wife, and they will become one flesh.

{Show Me Your Ring}

This is a link up by Mrs. Yellow Ribbon
Show me your ring…
Did you look at rings together?
No, he picked it out all on his own!

Do you like your ring? Did you from the beginning?…and be honest!
I loved my ring from the beginning and now and forever!

How often do you wear your rings?
Always, I never take it off
Do you clean your rings?
No, I am so bad. I don’t even remember the last time I got it cleaned.
What went through your mind the very first time you saw your ring?
Not a lot. It was dark out… he proposed while we were on a cruise on the balcony! I was just excited for him to have asked me! But when I finally got to take a good look at it… i loved it, and thought how huge and sparkly it was!
This picture was the next morning after he asked me to be his wife!We love cruises! So.Much.Fun.

Proverbs 31:10
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.
Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

{Our Early 4 Year Anniversary Getaway!}

Mine and Ray’s anniversary is January 7th which is this Friday coming up but we will be busy with other plans that weekend and that following week so, Ray decided to surprise me early morning on January 1st by having his mom and grandma stay at our place for a night and watch the girls. Ray’s mom and grandma arrived at 10:30am and as soon as they arrived our journey began! We went to our favorite breakfast place in Pleasanton called Zorns. We had a wonderful time talking and enjoying our delicious omelets. After breakfast we got back in the car and headed out to the city. I had no clue to where we were headed and where we were staying. After a few minutes of driving we finally arrived to where we were staying… The Ritz-Carlton! We checked-in, checked out our room and the hotel, then headed off to fisherman’s wharf were we walked around and got some good’ol clam chowder soup,  watched a show, headed to the house of wax, grabed some coffee, and went to our favorite restaurant Cha Chas. Their food is so goooood!! Once we finished dinner we headed back to our room and relaxed before heading out to my other surprise Ray had for me…. which was watching Shrek the musical, unfortunately, we only watched half of the show because I wasn’t feeling so good and was getting super tired. Once we got back to our room Ritz-Carlton had left us a surprise on our bed… rose pedals!! SO ROMANTIC!! The next morning we slept in and enjoyed cuddling with each other, we then got up got ready and headed back home to get the girls and drop them off at Ray’s sisters house for the next surprise Ray had for me…. a couples massage for one hour and a half!!!! RELAXATION! After our massage we got some coffee and ended this beautiful, fun, romantic anniversary with a kiss! I love spending quality time with the hubby its the best thing EVER! He is my love, my best friend, my soul mate,  he is my everything! I love you babe and I am so blessed to have you an incredible man as my husband!!! May God bless us and keep us strong always! I love you love bug!