On Sunday, I woke up, got out of bed and hopped in the shower. As I was showering I felt sad, I just felt like crying. All these thoughts of little Madison still in my belly and not yet out, and how ready I am to be holding her in my arms. All last week and this past weekend all these women who I know who’s due dates are a week from mine and some even two days from mine are already holding their little ones in their arms. It started to get to me. Plus, all these other emotions I am feeling. All day Sunday I felt sad not really wanting to talk to anyone or do anything.
At church on Sunday it was my turn to watch the toddler kids, which I wasn’t really feeling up for it, but then again I didn’t want to interact with anyone and I knew the kids were not going to start a conversation with me, so I felt it actually worked out for the better. After service I hurried up to find Ray so we can head on home. I found him and we headed home. We got home, had lunch, then Ray had to head out to show some homes. Once he left I just sat there in the dinning room table watching my girls play together when all of a sudden I was feeling so sad that tears were streaming down my face. All these emotions overcoming me that there was only one thing I had/needed to do… and that was getting on my Knees! I went in my room, got on my knees and started to pray. I was telling God everything I have been feeling and for Him to come into my heart and bring me peace, patience and joy back in my heart. God is the one who truly knows my heart, and He is also the only one who knows the day and time Madison will be joining our family. His timing is always perfect! He is never late. He is never early. He is never in a hurry. He is always on time, on His time! These words I truly need to keep in my heart and always remember.
After that talk with God I felt better, relived, maybe not 100%, but better. Sometimes I feel its a good thing to feel vulnerable and emotional, because it brings me to my knees! It is also a good reminder that I cant always be strong and I need the help of our heavenly father to get me through a rough/emotional day.
I still feel a little emotional, but I am keeping these words… Gods words… close.
John 14:27 – Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
Isaiah 40:31 – but those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.